The doctor could not do much for us. My mom lies lies lies about anything and everything. Her weight (she said: oh, 115; actual weight: 88 pounds...20 of which was fluid in her stomach). How much do you drink? (she said: oh, not much; actual answer: all day every day). How do you feel? (she said: fine; what anyone else would have said: HELP ME!).
My mom refused to stop drinking and there was nothing we could do. The doctor said involuntary treatment wasn't an option because even though my mom is bipolar and had stopped taking her medications, she was "of sound mind". She is allowed to kill herself like this if she chooses in the great state of New York.
She told us my mom had alcoholic liver disease (click here to read about it) and that she will die from it. It will be a slow and painful death.
To give an idea what she of what she looks like:
1. She has ascites:
2. And she has cachexia from not eating/being unable to digest food:
I couldn't believe the doctor let us walk out of there for my mom to die, but she did. And so we went.
i'm here if you need. my mother is also bipolar, but also schizophrenic. you can read my blog too if it helps. i wish i knew what to say to you to make it easier but at the end of the day, each of us has to make the choice about what is right for us. all i will offer is my own belief that sometimes you can't save the person you wish you could. all you can do is try to save yourself in the process. be well, and reach out if you need to.
ReplyDeletethank you so much for your comment! ive just been reading your blog and so much of what you say, i relate to completely.
ReplyDeletedo you find blogging to be helpful? have you been able find other people to talk to about this via your blog?
i dont know if this is weird, but email me any time: mymomisbipolar [at] gmail.com
the blogging helps IMMENSELY. i'm a complete extrovert, and talk all the time to people. i'm outgoing. but there are things that i think to myself - that i want to admit to outloud - that i would NEVER say to someone who knows me. i'm not sure what the reason really is - if i don't want to burden them. if i don't want to concern them. if i'm ashamed. but it keeps me in a perpetual state of editing my words. blogging helps me unload all of it, without fear of judgement or resentment. i have found a few folks through my blog that comment, and i comment back. the biggest thing i have found as a resource, though, is NAMI. i'm a member of the local chapter now, and it has a support group specifically for kids of mentally ill parents. going to group has really changed my life and my strength. i strongly suggest checking in with your local NAMI chapter. they have so many resources!
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