When a partner is depressed, these tips from Families for Depression Awareness can help keep your own mental health in balance:
Remember it’s not your fault. Depression in your partner is a medical condition, not the result of something you said or did.
Recognize normal reactions. Along with compassion for your partner, don’t be surprised to feel frustration, anger, and even hatred. It is extremely difficult not to take symptoms such as withdrawal and irritability personally. Also common are resentment because your life has changed and grief because the person you love seems to be gone. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling to deal with your emotions.
Don’t be a martyr. No matter how hard it seems, be sure to schedule time for activities that you enjoy. If you are taking on extra responsibilities around the house or in overseeing your partner’s treatment, look for other family members, friends, or even service professionals (a housecleaner, for example) who can take on some tasks.
Find social support. Dealing with depression in a partner can be isolating. Make the effort to spend time with friends who are able to sympathize and provide emotional sustenance. Seek out peer support groups for families of people with depression.
Be part of the solution. Learning more about depression and how to provide useful support—as well as knowing what not to do—can improve treatment outcomes for your partner. The better your partner gets, the more pressure that takes off you and your relationship. Couples counseling helps address issues arising from the depression.
Have hope. You may feel rejected and discouraged when nothing you do to help your partner seems to work. Keep in mind that depression is often cyclical—worse at times, easier to manage at others—and finding the right treatment may take time. And remember that 80 percent of people with depression improve with treatment.
*taken from: http://www.hopetocope.com/Item.aspx/745/the-ripple-effect
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